Question: Before I got together with my girlfriend, I knew that she had a boyfriend in college, so I didn’t care that much about whether she was a virgin or not, and I thought I could accept it. Then when I celebrated Girls' Day before, I wished me a happy holiday, but she said she was celebrating Women's Day. At that moment, I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. At that time, I was thinking about my sexual experience, and I realized that I really cared about whether she was a virgin.
Then I told my girlfriend how I felt, and she said she was wronged, which was not what she said, and told me that she had never had sex with anyone else. At that time, things seemed to be over, but last night our chat suddenly came up with a related topic, and I teased her about whether she was a virgin.
As a result, she didn’t reply for a long time. I was a little nervous at the time, so I asked her if she had lied to me last time. She said that she had just gone to work, that she didn't like my rules, that she didn't want to meet every one of my standards, and that if she liked virgins, she asked me to find someone who had never been in a relationship. But she reiterated that she had not had sex with anyone. Saying that I doubted her was insulting her, and then said that we were not suitable and wanted to break up. What should I do if I leave?
I think there is nothing wrong with caring about whether she is a virgin. If we trust each other, is it wrong for me to ask her if she is a virgin?
What should I do if I ask my girlfriend if she is a virgin and she is angry and wants to break up?
Answer: Let me ask a question first: Are you a virgin?
Every time I see a man minding that a woman is not a virgin, but it doesn’t matter whether he is a virgin or not, I feel helpless. But this is the reality. Some Chinese men no longer want to criticize their virginity complex. I hope society will become more progressive and men and women will be more equal on sexual issues!
According to your description, you two love each other very much, and you can also tell each other what is in your heart. You communicate very well. You can ask questions, and it can be seen that you care about the woman very much. My friend’s feelings! But men and women have different identities and different positions, so their ideas will be different!
Any girl, as long as she loves her boyfriend, will not want her boyfriend to care about whether she is a virgin or not. She hopes that you love her for who she is now, regardless of whether she is a virgin or not. Everybody loves her! If she is a virgin, your questions make her question your love, and this unpleasant feeling will remain in her heart. If she is not a virgin, your questions are tantamount to exposing her scars and making her panic. Tell you the truth that she is not, for fear that you will mind, lie to you and say yes, and fear that the paper will not be able to contain the anger, and besides, it will make her think that you are I love her because she is a virgin. If this kind of love is not pure, she will be sad!
Therefore, men really shouldn’t ask their girlfriends whether they are virgins. As long as you ask, it doesn’t matter whether she is a virgin or not. If you are not a virgin, you will be hurt by your questions, which is really not good for your relationship!
If you have a virginity complex, it is recommended that the man think carefully before asking questions. First, ask yourself whether you really love her? How much love? Do you love her enough to let go of your virginity complex? Even if she is not a virgin, you still love her and are willing to marry her and spend your life together? If so, then don’t ask questions. Whether or not you are a virgin is meaningless!
If not, you will not marry a non-virgin, and you cannot accept that your girlfriend is not a virgin, then go ahead and ask. If you believe she is a virgin, then continue to be together, but you have to understand what your question will do to you. She hurts and is definitely not good for your relationship! If you don’t believe she is a virgin, no matter if she says yes or no, make it clear and break up as soon as possible!
What scares you the most is that you are in this state, and you mind and say how much you love her. Is it true that your love for her is not as deep as the love you have for her if she is a virgin? You asked rashly without even being sure about your feelings. You didn’t believe your girlfriend when she said she was a virgin. You thought she might have lied to you. You also felt that you loved her very much. It seemed that you didn’t love her any less just because she was not a virgin. , you say how sad this is!
So! Don't wonder why your girlfriend feels insulted. You obviously didn't mean to insult her. It's completely normal for her to feel this way. Even if you apologize many times, this feeling will not change.
Then you are right to ask the question, but the mistake is that you asked the question rashly without clarifying your intention, and you mentioned trust. Do you completely trust your girlfriend? It seems that I don't trust her 100%, so the questioner please confirm your views on mate selection. Do you want to marry her if you don't want to marry her? Stop being ambiguous. You say you love her and won't break up, but at the same time you doubt that she is not a virgin and feel that she is incomplete. I feel uncomfortable. , this is also very uncomfortable as your girlfriend!
Finally, if you love your girlfriend enough that you won’t despise her just because she’s not good enough, then adjust your mentality. Come on, give her more trust, stop dwelling on the issue of virginity, really let it go, stop discussing whether your girlfriend is a virgin on the grounds of mutual trust, and stop hurting your feelings!
